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Common Holiday Pitfalls
WAITING UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO SHOP
You know you're in trouble when you're asking the Seven-Eleven clerk to gift wrap your purchases on Christmas Eve. Pace yourself during the weeks preceding the holiday. The selection of merchandise in the stores is better and the crowds are thinner earlier in the month. Shopping early is a good way to reduce stress during the holidays.
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LONGING FOR THE 'OLD TIMES'This is a common problem during the holidays, and it shows up in different forms. The more subtle form is a longing for the Christmas magic we knew as children. For adults, it's difficult to recapture that feeling because of the responsibilities of buying gifts and planning for the holidays. A second type of longing is missing members of the family who have moved away or who have died. It helps to start new traditions. In general, though, it simply takes time to adjust to the changes that mark holiday celebrations as the years pass on.
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OVERSPENDING
If you remember your favorite Christmas, it probably wasn't the one when you got the most expensive gifts. The idea of gift-giving is not to impress or overwhelm, but rather to do something special for another person. The emphasis on giving presents during the holidays has a tendency to make some people feel obliged to spend as much as they can possibly afford. Pay attention to your motives before you make a purchase. Look to give special gifts, not always expensive ones.
DECIDING BETWEEN IN-LAWS
Because each family has established Christmas traditions, when people marry, it almost always results in a disruption of celebrations for both families. For many families, Christmas traditions have almost magical importance. One may feel that not participating in a family celebration is too much of a sacrifice. Often, family members try using "guilt" to pressure loved ones into making certain decisions about where and how to spend the holidays. Methods of compromise such as alternating sites of celebration, the couple hosting other family members, or the couple starting their own holiday traditions often work nicely. Spouses and parents need to be realistic concerning their ideas about how their holiday time is spent and recognize that old traditions almost always must change when marriages occur.
HOLIDAY OBLIGATIONS
Many people avoid or don't enjoy annual holiday projects like addressing Christmas cards, making a gift list, or planning get-togethers for friends and relatives. These tasks can be looked upon as obligations. And this sense of obligation can rob one of the holiday spirit. Give yourself permission to share your holidays with only the friends and family members you really want to see. And, we shouldn't allow ourselves to believe that the "magic" of the holidays will change our less-than perfect relationships with certain people.
EXCESSIVE SYMPATHY FOR THE LESS FORTUNATE
Because Christmas is meant to be a time of great happiness, misfortune and tragedy seem to be especially poignant during the holidays. Make a decision concerning your ability to contribute humanitarian causes and recognize that there will be limitations in your ability to respond to every request for relief. Any amount of charitable contributions - be it money or time - can help make a difference.
DIVISION OF LABOR PROBLEMS
More and more men are expected and are even volunteering to help out with household chores. However, at holiday time, the division of labor seems to be women doing the cooking and cleaning while the men watch football on TV. This is, in part, due to Christmas being a time of great tradition - and tradition has women in the kitchen. To prevent the development of resentment, it is important that family members agree upon an equitable division of labor for the holidays with chores being spaced throughout the season so that no one will be subject to excessive fatigue. The division of labor, agreed upon in advance, can greatly reduce resentment.